Dear Holly ,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a leprechaun. I think I realized it when I saw the purple monkey outside your office and I saw you drive over my father. I'm sure you're open enough to understand the middle-east are3 planning thier revenge on you. I'm returning your love letters to me to you, but I'll keep my common sense as a memory. You should also know that I hate your cooking and the apartment building is on fire.
Please don't hurt me,
Pat
Here's how you do it:
Dear (someone you recently talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5).